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Jan. 19th, 2011 | 05:39 pm

((If anyone else reads this, please be aware before you judge me that this is the same shit river ALWAYS PULLS and I don't IMMEDIATELY snap at her every time--just when she pulls the same nonsense first thing we talk, saying the same sort of shit that she always says and going on with her same psychoses and...just forget it. Don't read. I'm tired of you people automatically assuming the whole of what I feel based off one single chatlog, in which I'm already at my wit's end.))

[16:29:16] River: Hey

[16:29:20] Cleo: hi

[16:29:28] River: Can I tlak to you about my idea before I just do it and feel like an idiot"

[16:29:30] River: ?

[16:29:37] Cleo: yes

[16:30:49] River: Remember how you told me to introduce another character?

[16:31:02] Cleo: i said you could if you want

[16:31:15] River: well given I only have one and she's fairly incapacitated?

[16:31:30] Cleo: yes but you shouldn't introduce a char just to introduce a char

[16:31:33] River: it seemed like a pretty reasonable choice, only other one is to ff several days or a week to get to where she'd up and going

[16:31:41] Cleo: if you have a backstory that's relevant to the rp, then it's okay

[16:31:49] Cleo: well i'm sure there are other options but anyway

[16:31:51] Cleo: what is your idea

[16:32:07] River: there probably are but I cou;dn't come up with them..

[16:32:38] Cleo: it's fine what is your idea

[16:33:07] River: well..

[16:33:42] River: I figured one of the things Lirael would've had set up before going into the battle would be to have a message sent to Halef city should she die or be otherwise incapacitated. and given the situation that would've been carried out.

[16:34:21] River: Well, if the message got to Halef City that one of their knights was greviously injured in a fight against evil in a nearby township and in need of assistance, naturally assistance would be sent.

[16:34:39] Cleo: a fight against evil lol

[16:34:52] River: goblins are generally considered pretty evil.

[16:34:58] Cleo: the phrasing amused me

[16:35:00] Cleo: "war on terror"

[16:35:04] River: that's how the knights' council would've spun it anyway.

[16:35:11] River: -coughs-

[16:35:25] River: Can I finish or have you already decided it's a stupid idea?

[16:35:28] Cleo: naturally huh? i guess halef is rolling in spare recruits then

[16:35:34] Cleo: would you chillax

[16:35:38] Cleo: you haven't even stated an idea yet

[16:35:44] River: ...

[16:35:53] Cleo: you're just building up to one

[16:35:55] River: Forget it, I'll just try to come up with one of the 'other options'.

[16:35:59] Cleo: river

[16:36:01] Cleo: knock it off

[16:36:04] Cleo: seriously

[16:36:04] River: That's all I wanted.

[16:36:10] River: You can go back to whatever you were doing.

[16:36:15] Cleo: stop being psycho

[16:36:17] Cleo: what is your goddamn idea

[16:36:30] River: Nothing, it's stupid and unrealistic.

[16:36:40] Cleo: well i guess i'll never know since you won't tell me

[16:36:49] Cleo: and realism in an rp about dragons is certainly an important criteria

[16:37:01] River: Well, it's one of my ideas. So odds are it is stupid, unrealistic, or both.

[16:37:03] River: Or cliche.

[16:37:05] River: Or just boring.

[16:37:21] Cleo: there you go again

[16:38:06] Cleo: ugh

[16:38:10] River: heh.

[16:38:33] Cleo: so you're really never going to tell me, on the off chance that your idea is stupid.

[16:38:35] Cleo: that's pretty dumb.

[16:38:41] River: Not on the off-chance.

[16:38:52] Cleo: oh, you're having a low self esteem attack. i see.

[16:38:57] River: You've already pointed out a rather considerable flaw in it.

[16:39:05] Cleo: perhaps we can make it more feasible

[16:39:10] Cleo: but you need to tell me waht the goddamn idea is first

[16:39:11] Cleo: seriously

[16:39:16] Cleo: why do you make everything into an ordeal

[16:39:21] River: Fine, fuck the build up, I'll just bloody summarize.

[16:40:07] River: The idea would be that another knight, one of about Lirael's caliber but not a dragonslayer like her, would be sent to retreive her and Astin, and that would give me a direct presence in the town and some influence, until Lirael is up to speed again.

[16:40:18] Cleo: so a replacement lirael...?

[16:40:26] River: ..

[16:40:30] River: And that's why it's fucking stupid.

[16:40:37] Cleo: or you could stop immediately going psycho

[16:40:41] Cleo: and explain what you mean more

[16:40:45] River: I didn't even think of it that way.

[16:40:53] Cleo: okay, then say that

[16:41:10] Cleo: stop with the drama queen elipses and the 'ugh i'm so dumb all my ideas are stupid' bullshit

[16:41:26] River: Most of them are.

[16:41:34] River: Again, boring, stupid, cliche or unrealistic.

[16:41:54] River: I suppose what I was thinking was more like

[16:42:21] Cleo: *tries to lie out of mr. suck*

[16:42:35] Cleo: remember what i told you last time we talked

[16:42:48] Cleo: how even if you do feel your ideas are stupid, saying stuff like that only makes the people you're complaining to resent you?

[16:42:49] Cleo: yeah.

[16:42:54] River: not a replacement but a temporary substitute. and given that they probably asked for volunteers before saying 'You, go to <town> and rescue the Blue Knight', chances are this guy knows her, or knows of her at least, enough to willingly take it.

[16:43:00] River: Like you don't resent me already.

[16:43:14] River: You complain all the time about how nobody's ever as good as Angel was.

[16:43:19] Cleo: river

[16:43:23] River: And how everyone esle sucks ad I'm just barely good enough.

[16:43:23] Cleo: *rubs forehead*

[16:43:26] Cleo: why are you being like this

[16:43:28] Cleo: you are so

[16:43:30] Cleo: crazy

[16:43:33] Cleo: where do you make up all this from

[16:43:42] River: I freakin' remember all this.

[16:43:46] Cleo: i say one thing years ago

[16:43:53] River: Years ago?>

[16:43:55] Cleo: and you take it and twist it and pervert it and swear that's what i always feel, all the time

[16:43:58] River: I have barely known you a year

[16:43:59] Cleo: or months, it doesn't matter

[16:44:01] Cleo: nno

[16:44:06] Cleo: actually i've known you since right after angel died

[16:44:06] River: No, trust me

[16:44:08] Cleo: and she died two years ago

[16:44:15] Cleo: no, trust me, i have a very reliable method for dating this

[16:44:17] River: I met you after R.

[16:44:23] Cleo: whatever

[16:44:24] River: Which was last November.

[16:44:25] Cleo: the point is still

[16:44:34] River: yeah, you're right, it's just splitting hairs.

[16:44:40] River: I'm sorry.

[16:44:41] Cleo: that you take something I allegedly said at one time, twist it beyond recognition, and THEN assume that's what I feel all the time, always

[16:44:50] River: I want to be good enough, honestly, but it seems like I can;t.

[16:44:59] Cleo: especially not if every fucking time we talk

[16:45:05] Cleo: the first thing out of your mouth is "Wah i suck"

[16:45:23] Cleo: you don't earn a job by going into an office and telling them everything you think you can't do

[16:45:34] Cleo: you don't make/keep friends by constantly telling them all your supposed flaws

[16:45:37] River: well of course not.

[16:45:49] River: and it's not 'supposed' but whatever.

[16:45:56] Cleo: there you go

[16:45:57] Cleo: seriously

[16:46:02] Cleo: do you not read what you are syaing?

[16:46:07] River: yes.

[16:46:11] River: ... sometimes.

[16:46:40] Cleo: river

[16:46:42] Cleo: try something for me

[16:46:48] Cleo: before hitting enter on every comment you make

[16:46:49] River: yes?

[16:46:59] Cleo: stop, reread it, and try to imagine if i was saying it to you instead of visa versa

[16:47:07] Cleo: and try to determine if it's just some stupid bitchy negative thing to say

[16:47:10] Cleo: and if it is, DONT SAY IT

[16:47:22] Cleo: or reword it to get your point across without inserting "wah i suck" unnecessarily

[16:47:24] Cleo: seriously, try it

[16:47:28] Cleo: try it in relation to everyone else as well

[16:47:46] Cleo: and re: your idea, you can do it if you want

[16:48:01] Cleo: but my fear is that you'll end up playing the new person very similarly to how you play lirael

[16:48:10] Cleo: which doesn't add to the plot, it doesn't give us anythign new to approach

[16:48:18] Cleo: i'd rather see you play a character who was significantly different

[16:48:23] Cleo: either in occupation, temperment, whatever

[16:49:00] River: I tried to think of good ideas for several days and this is literally the only decent one I came up with.

[16:49:08] River: But you're right that is an extremely legitimate fear.

[16:49:21] Cleo: well

[16:49:25] Cleo: did you try reading some other stories

[16:49:30] Cleo: or watching some movies with good stories in them

[16:49:39] River: No.

[16:49:55] Cleo: try that then

[16:50:00] Cleo: if you can't be original, steal

[16:50:06] Cleo: it's just rp, it's not like anyone can sue you for it

[16:50:20] River: I wouldn't know where to go to find stuff like that.

[16:50:52] Cleo: ...the library?

[16:51:20] River: True but I mean, how do I differentiate between a good story and a terrible one just by looking at them?

[16:52:39] Cleo: well

[16:52:41] Cleo: do you enjoy it?

[16:52:42] Cleo: then it

[16:52:48] Cleo: 's probably a good story, at lest in some way

[16:52:55] Cleo: or i could recommend some authors but those take a while to read

[16:52:59] Cleo: do you ever read for pleasure

[16:53:05] River: Not anymore//

[16:53:19] Cleo: why not

[16:53:23] River: brb

[16:58:19] River: I don't know why anymore. I used to when I was younger.

[16:58:38] Cleo: maybe you should start again

[16:58:43] Cleo: i could recommend some series i think are fun

[16:58:45] River: I probably should.

[16:58:48] River: like what

[16:59:13] Cleo: hmm

[16:59:14] Cleo: well

[16:59:22] Cleo: it's hard to say since you have so many hair triggers

[16:59:27] Cleo: i want to say the sookie stackhouse books but

[16:59:33] Cleo: there are some playboy guys in it

[16:59:35] Cleo: and uh

[16:59:44] Cleo: it's set in louisianna so occasionally there's mention of hunting

[16:59:49] Cleo: but it's what trueblood is based off

[16:59:55] Cleo: lots of vamps and shapeshifters and faeries and weres

[16:59:56] River: I'll pass.

[17:00:02] Cleo: lol

[17:00:05] River: I don't really typically take to vampire stories.

[17:00:13] Cleo: well that's the thing that's funny about it

[17:00:19] Cleo: it's not all gloomy and mysterius like anne rice

[17:00:24] Cleo: or teenage wet dream like twilight

[17:00:38] Cleo: it's...sort of like "how would the world really react if vamps were real"

[17:00:40] Cleo: well

[17:00:47] River: I know.

[17:00:50] Cleo: other books i can think of are very long and rather tedious

[17:00:50] River: I'll still pass.

[17:00:52] Cleo: fine

[17:01:03] Cleo: well

[17:01:09] Cleo: what was the last adult book you read

[17:01:16] Cleo: and by adult i mean geared for mature readers, not porn

[17:01:20] River: Mass Effect Revelation.

[17:01:28] River: Well.

[17:01:33] River: Um.

[17:01:37] River: Possibly Voices of Heaven

[17:01:38] Cleo: ew

[17:01:39] Cleo: really?

[17:01:42] River: ...

[17:01:45] Cleo: a book based off a video game? lol

[17:01:50] River: No, actually

[17:01:56] River: It's backstory to the video game.

[17:02:01] Cleo: ...aha

[17:02:03] River: An addition to the canon universe.

[17:02:07] Cleo: well i guess i shouldn't talk, i read the halo novels

[17:02:13] Cleo: still i don't really...that's not what imeant

[17:02:15] Cleo: i dunno

[17:02:21] Cleo: you said you like piers anthony didn't you

[17:02:21] River: The Voices of Heaven, then.

[17:02:23] River: Sci-fi.

[17:02:30] River: Very.. um. Interesting.

[17:02:31] Cleo: the problem is if you read his scifi you're going to want to do scifi plots and i'm not

[17:02:32] Cleo: really

[17:02:36] Cleo: but

[17:02:42] River: Peirs anthony, yeah.

[17:02:46] Cleo: maybe you could take the underlying theme and adapt it to fantasy

[17:02:57] River: Maybe, but not likely.

[17:03:04] River: It has been a long time since I was in school

[17:03:13] River: Where I would be exposed to anything like that sort of techniqe

[17:03:16] Cleo: what?

[17:03:23] Cleo: i don't mean anything fancy like that

[17:03:36] Cleo: i mean if you get interested in a forbidden love between a garlaxl alien and a human

[17:03:46] Cleo: you could adapt it to a fae and a human with the same sort of tragedy

[17:03:47] Cleo: or whatever

[17:03:49] River: What?

[17:04:01] River: Also isn't forbidden love a bit played out?

[17:04:04] Cleo: river

[17:04:07] Cleo: i was just doing an example

[17:04:10] River: Sorry.

[17:04:14] Cleo: and everything's played out to a degree

[17:04:21] Cleo: the hint is to rework it until it's interesting agin

[17:04:28] River: Yes, but

[17:04:33] River: hang on.

[17:07:22] River: The problem is you and I are very different in what we find acceptably interesting. As well as I can tell, and this may be inaccurate but this is how I view it, you prefer a certain level of interestingness, as constant as possible with peaks of higher-interest. I, on the other hand, am more roller-coaster in my preference. Highs of very high interest and lows of more mundane sections are perfectly fine by me as long as they're balanced, and that difference in our [perceived] tastes is what's causing a great deal of strife for us. The fact is I am abominably lazy and unable to maintain that typical level of interesting that you want. In order to be able to post consistantly I have to take breaks, ie mundane sections, where I can more or less turn my brain off. Sad, sure, pathetic, yes, but it's how I am and I really don't know how to change it.

[17:07:35] River: I didn't mean to ramble there, i just sort of came out that way.

[17:07:52] Cleo: um

[17:08:00] Cleo: it's not that i think a plot has to be high-action all the time

[17:08:07] Cleo: but our story has been meandering for awhile now

[17:08:18] Cleo: and yes, I guess I'm not a big fan of a lot of posts where nothing happens

[17:08:25] River: can I interrupt there?

[17:08:29] Cleo: i'm already done

[17:10:36] River: if the story has meandered, in my defense, it is primarily because you keep tacking on new stuff with, as far as I can see, no relation to the main plot. if there even is one. Lirael left from the first town, and you got bored and so added in Astin. Who you made a werewolf, and in very bad condition. So of course a detour to get him in better shape was necessary. and then you decided to have the werewolves attack, and then forcibly out Astin's real nature, and then the whole goblins thing and this whole 'werewolf king that wants Lirael to become a werewolf too because, uh.. he thinks she's tough or something'.

[17:10:50] River: Maybe that was a bit bitchy, in which case, I apologize.

[17:11:02] Cleo: maybe we should just give up, lol

[17:11:06] River: But it seems like since, basically, the first section, I have had no control and no say in this.

[17:11:13] Cleo: if it's this hard to work out a story that makes both of us happy, maybe it's not meant to be

[17:11:29] River: -sighs-

[17:11:36] Cleo: it's really not a big deal

[17:11:42] River: If you want to. It's not exactly unusual for my partners to abandon me.

[17:11:45] Cleo: BRPS brought up a good point

[17:11:50] Cleo: there you go again

[17:11:55] River: It isn't.

[17:11:57] Cleo: stop looking at it as something as dramatic as "abandon"

[17:12:02] Cleo: there's no need to say somethign like that

[17:12:12] Cleo: it feels like you're trying to guilt me into still playing with you, and that's fucked up\

[17:12:25] River: You want to stop rping with me, and why else would you talk to me? That's pretty much abandonment.

[17:12:41] Cleo: okay, river

[17:12:46] Cleo: you're being melodramatic.

[17:12:51] Cleo: there are such things as amicable parting.

[17:13:05] River: yeah, well I haven't had the pleasure.

[17:13:07] Cleo: and you're the one saying we have to cease contact outside of rp, not me

[17:13:16] Cleo: probably because you cop an attitude whenever the matter comes up.

[17:13:20] Cleo: you're going to get what you give.

[17:13:27] Cleo: if you want an amicable parting, the first step is to be amicable yourself.

[17:13:30] River: And this really doesn't help my confidence. I try to be reasonable and explain and all of a sudden you're all 'well fuck, forget it'

[17:13:41] Cleo: river, stop being overly dramatic, seriously

[17:13:45] Cleo: if i meant 'well fuck, forget it'

[17:13:49] Cleo: i would say 'well fuck, forget it'

[17:13:57] Cleo: believe it or not I've been giving htis thought for awhile now

[17:13:59] River: I don't really give a damn about an amicable parting, Cleo. I've never had one and probably never will, and it's very likely by majority my own fault.

[17:14:14] River: great..

[17:14:22] Cleo: whatever our former synergy, we don't seem to have it anymore, and maybe it would jsut be better if we found partners that better suit us

[17:14:33] Cleo: you could find someone who prefers your roller coaster scifi furry tastes

[17:14:38] Cleo: and honestly, i'm kind of done with rp

[17:14:49] Cleo: i'll never have what i had with angel again, and honestly, i'm okay with that

[17:14:54] River: Whatever, Cleo.

[17:15:02] Cleo: oh river.

[17:15:08] River: I've been given this line enoguh times to know it's the same fucking thing.

[17:15:13] River: As usual all my work is for nothing.

[17:15:15] Cleo: i'm trying to be nice about this, but if you insist on being a petulant child, i don't know what else I can do with you.

[17:15:42] River: You're trying to be nice about 'I've thought about it for a while and we should stop rping, so, yanno, fuck you'

[17:15:47] Cleo: river

[17:15:48] Cleo: you're crazy

[17:15:50] Cleo: that's it.

[17:16:00] Cleo: if you are going to insist on completely ignoring what I'm ACTUALLY saying and

[17:16:12] Cleo: come up with some fucked up version cast by your own extreme self esteem issues, then there' snothing i can do about it.

[17:16:12] River: Just leave me alone. You've done enough in wrecking yet more of my honest work.

[17:16:17] Cleo: lol.

[17:16:30] Cleo: sorry river. i tried to be patient with you, but you're determined to behave like this so there's nothing I can do.

[17:16:33] Cleo: Have a good night.

[17:16:43] *** "River (VornerinRandir)" signed off at Wed Jan 19 17:16:42 2011.

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